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Female Caregiver Stress: Tips to Take Care of Yourself

15/5/2025

 
By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth
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Female Caregiver Stress: Tips to Take Care of Yourself

There is this idea that women are natural caregivers. Whether or not this is true, in our current society women tend to be responsible for most unpaid labour, such as caregiving for elderly family members and children as well as domestic responsibilities. Although caregiving can be incredibly rewarding, it can also be stressful – female caregiver stress is very common.

It’s important for caregivers to remember to take care of themselves in order to be able to effectively care for others in their life. 

Signs of Female Caregiver Stress

It’s easy for caregivers to neglect their own health when they’re focused on caring for others. But long-term stress can have a negative impact on a person’s physical and mental wellness. So, it’s important to pay attention to signs of stress, such as: 
  • Feeling overwhelmed or constantly worried
  • Feeling tired often
  • Getting too much sleep or not enough sleep
  • Gaining or losing weight
  • Becoming easily irritated or angry
  • Losing interest in activities you used to enjoy
  • Feeling sad
  • Having frequent headaches, bodily pain or other physical problems
  • Abusing alcohol or drugs, including prescription medications

Tips to Take Care of Yourself – Managing Caregiver Stress
  1. Acknowledge your limits. It’s easy to feel guilty if we feel like we aren’t doing enough. Know that this feeling is normal and that while we want to provide the best support to our loved ones, no one is perfect. We are also better able to provide support when we meet our own needs first.
  2. Accept help. It’s common for caregivers to believe they need to provide all the support themselves. There are times where we cannot do everything and we need to accept support from others in our lives. It’s also important to recognize that situations where professional support may be necessary. If you think you may need to speak to a counsellor, reach out to the PH&S Clinic today to book a consultation. 
  3. Stay connected. It’s important to have connections with other people in our lives who are supportive. Whether that be social support from friends or family members, or more organized support groups. 
  4. Set personal health goals. Maintaining our physical health will help us to better manage our mental health. So, set personal health goals that will help you to maintain a healthy lifestyle, such as establishing a good sleep routine, staying active, drinking lots of water, and eating healthy. 
  5. Prioritize self-care. Personal health goals can be self-care but it’s important to make time for the things in our life that are important to us. When we are focused on the needs of others, or are experiencing periods of stress, it can be easy to let these things slide.
  6. Be kind to yourself. It’s common for caregivers to experience anger or frustration from time to time, which can make them feel guilty. Know that these feelings are normal and that you deserve kindness and patience. Also, consider sharing your feelings with a trusted loved one or journaling.
  7. Consider incorporating gratitude practice. Gratitude is a practice that can have a significant impact on our overall psychological mental health or wellness, and it is one of the simplest practices to adopt.

Remember that you’re not alone. It’s common for caregivers to have a challenging time asking for help which can lead to feeling further isolated, frustrated and even depressed. 

Final Thoughts

While it can be rewarding to be a caregiver, it can also be incredibly challenging and cause a significant amount of stress, especially for female caregivers. This year has been particularly hard on everyone so it’s more important than ever to ensure that we prioritize our own needs so we are better able to support our loved ones. Remember it does not mean you have failed or that you’re weak if you need to reach out for support. We always manage things better as a community.


She thinks botox is the answer to her problems. How do I stop her?

10/10/2024

 
By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth
The Question:
 
My friend is convinced she has wrinkles and needs to get botox. She has absolutely no wrinkles that I can see (in fact, her skin is wonderful). I am concerned about her warped perception of her appearance. Why can’t she be happy with how she naturally looks?
 
The Answer:
 
A woman's relationship with her appearance is one of the most complicated relationships she will encounter in her lifetime. The relationship is mitigated by a number of factors, that includes a strong sense of self, confidence in other traits and attributes she possesses, and her overall sense of happiness.
 
Our modern day society, however, is wreaking havoc on the self-image of even the most secure women, and I am seeing in increasing number of particularly younger, objectively attractive women in my practice who are consumed with undergoing procedures to further enhance how they look.
 
I think this is an artifact of a number of factors.
 
We live in the age of a technological revolution where we are literally bombarded with myriad images, on every medium and form, that set expectations for what society’s ostensible “standards” are for beauty. One would be hard pressed to find a television show or film without a star that has either privately or – as is the current trend – publicly pronounced the cosmetic surgeries she has had. Gone is the shame and stigma with undergoing enhancement procedures. And, gone are the days where cosmetic surgeries were only for the very rich and famous. The last decade has witnessed an explosion of the range of available cosmetic procedures and clinics, and the drastic drop in costs has made many of these services accessible to the every-woman.
 
Virtually all of us engage in some element of appearance enhancement – ranging from the clothes we wear, the grooming practices we engage in, and the makeup we put on. A decision to engage in something more significant (and arguably not benign in terms of long term health impacts) is a very personal decision.
 
As a friend, your job is to support and not judge your friend for the very personal decision she is making; however, as a friend, it is also your job to (respectfully and kindly) express the concern you have to her. Start a dialogue with her about her reasoning for wanting to get botox. Most importantly, listen to her reasons, as that may give you an indication whether her decision is a temporary knee-jerk reaction to fleeting insecurity or unhappiness, or if it is a well-thought out, considered decision to engage in a procedure, fully understanding the potential risks. If the former, try to listen to support your friend as best as you can and ask her what you can do to help. Encourage her to defer the decision until she is in a better place emotionally. If the latter, focus on keeping your opinions to yourself, and maintaining the friendship.

Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail.

Why do women like Valentine’s Day so much!?

9/2/2023

 
By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth ​

The question:

 
Why do people like Valentine’s Day? I hate it. Not because I’m single, I’ve actually been happily married to my wife for six years. But she always gets upset when I don’t go all out or seem sincere enough on this one annual occasion. I’m a good husband, I think, and she tells me that I do loving things for her all the time during the other 364 days. So what gives? Why do people get so caught up in a single day that (I think) isn’t all that special?
 
The answer:
 
There’s no special occasion that men and women disagree about more than Valentine’s Day! You are like many men that I hear from: frustrated and confused about the (seemingly) disproportionate emphasis that their female partners place on this day relative to other days of the year.
 
So, here’s the answer to your question in a nutshell: Women like Valentine’s Day for reasons that are, in spirit, not dissimilar to the reasons they like other special occasions. The day is a celebration of something very special in their lives – love. An informal poll of my female friends was unanimous: This is a day that women want to feel extra loved, appreciated and special to their partners.
 
Chalk it up to the childhood dreams many of us women have about fairy-tale happy endings and knights in shining armour. It’s perhaps a little silly, and usually far from the reality of life, but certainly something that makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside.
 
Here’s what I suggest: Rather than getting caught up worrying about why so many other people like this day, why don’t you ask your wife what it is that she values about the day? After all, it’s her opinion that matters the most. Ask her how she would like to celebrate. Then communicate – non-defensively – how you feel about the occasion. It may be that you are putting undue pressure on yourself and thinking she expects something much grander than what is actually the case.
 
In his fantastic book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, Dr. Gary Chapman writes about the differences couples encounter when they are speaking different “love languages.” He articulates the importance of understanding your partner’s primary love language (i.e. quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service or physical touch) as a way to improve and strengthen your relationship. Special occasions – and the associated celebration of them – often speak to the different love languages couples have, and the differences partners have about how the other communicates their love.
 
So, smile. Enjoy the day. Go the extra mile for your wife on this day, then ask yourself: Something that makes her feel extra happy and special can’t be all bad, can it?

​Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail.

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Dr. Joti Samra is a Founding Member of the CSA Technical Committee that developed the CSA National Standard for Psychological Health & Safety in the Workplace and informed the ISO standard
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