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By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
New Year’s always makes me anxious. All this talk of resolutions, starting fresh and getting everything done – why? Between problems with my marriage, children and work, I know I have a lot to figure out – but New Year’s just gives everyone I know a chance to ask insensitive questions about how am I going to change things in the next 365 days. How do I make it stop? The answer: Any time we have a strong emotional reaction to a situation, we should ask ourselves two key questions: Is my reaction accurate, realistic or appropriate given the situation? And if the intensity of the reaction seems mismatched to the situation, what is it that I am truly reacting to? The tradition of making New Year’s resolutions is a common one across the world. The new year, for many people across cultures and societies, represents a new start and new beginning. Virtually all people have rituals and traditions to celebrate the onset of a new year. So why has the tradition of resolutions been adopted and why has it stuck in so many parts of the world? What resolutions provide are an opportunity to reflect on the past and think about improvements one wants to make to their life. They symbolize a commitment to achieve personal goals, complete projects or break bad habits. Time and time again, the most common resolutions relate to diet, weight, smoking or substance use. Are resolutions themselves indicative of anything? If you look at the statistics, the answer is no. I came across one study that indicated 94 per cent of people forget what their resolution is by July! So why do people continue to make them? I think it really comes down to a light and fun tradition that ultimately reflects our wishes and hopes for positive future changes. I believe that all of us are fundamentally works in progress, and an important part of our personal journey involves identifying – and makes changes to – areas of our lives we are less than satisfied with. Your reaction, however, seems to represent something starkly different from a light, fun way to reflect on change. You indicate you have problems in important parts of your life, that you have a lot to figure out. Your perception of insensitivity seems to be a projection of the dissatisfaction you have with your life more than anything else. I would encourage you to spend some time thinking about why you are having such an intense reaction. It sounds like you are frustrated with life situations you may feel you have little to no control over. Ask yourself what changes you may want to make in your life, and what your perceived barriers are to making those changes. Maybe you aren’t in a position where you are able or wanting to make the changes you need, which is a perfectly acceptable. However, your dissatisfaction has very little to do with the question-askers. The answer to your question of how to make it stop is a simple one: You can’t stop others’ questions. Period. You can, however, abort the conversation with a simple, lightly delivered line: “I don’t believe in making New Year’s resolutions. What are yours?” Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I’m dreading seeing certain members of my family over the holidays. I wish I enjoyed spending time with them more but I end up feeling tense and uncomfortable. How can I make the best of it? The answer: You are not alone: The holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year for many people. Most of us are trying to do too much in too little time at this time of year. December and January are months where we incur the highest amounts of debt. The dark and dreary days negatively impact mood for many people and can compound existing stressors. Add to the mix the fact this is one of the only times of year that we are thrown together with our relatives – whether we like them are not – and you have a perfect recipe for stress! There are a number of things you can do to make the holidays go more smoothly:
Finally, try to find what humour you can in your family situation. Remind yourself that the season will soon be over, and you will get through it like you do every year. By Vanessa Rouzier, RCC  We know the way we eat not only influences the way we feel physically, but also mentally. More specifically, our diet affects the production and transmission of serotonin and dopamine in our brain. These are commonly known as “happiness neurotransmitters” which have a significant impact on our mood. Our eating habits also influence cortisol levels in our brain, which is the stress hormone.
There is so much information out there about diet that it can be challenging to know where to start when it comes to eating healthy. If you made eating habits one of your new year’s resolutions, here are some strategies to help you begin. How to Make Changes Related to Diet 1 - Define your goal Target one specific behaviour you would like to change at a time. A smaller and more realistic goal is often better as it will be easier to reach. This will leave you with a sense of achievement and more motivation to continue. Your goal should also be in line with your vision of the future. Try to find the reason why you want to make that change. Is it to have more energy? To be healthier? More attractive? More productive? When you feel like giving in to a craving, connecting with that deeper motivation will help you stay strong and make healthier choices. 2 - Limit your sugar intake Sugar overconsumption has not only been shown to be one of the main contributors to weight gain, but it also has an impact on brain functioning. Research has linked sugar overconsumption to cognitive impairment, anxiety and depression. Academics have also shown that sugar is “tricking your brain” as it is increasing the impulsivity to feed. This means the more sugar you eat, the more you want to eat overall! 3 - Find strategies to manage your stress Emotional eating is very common. After eating high-fat or high-sugar food, the brain releases hormones that reduce the feelings of stress, which makes you want to have more. The “reward pathway” involved in your brain is similar to the one involved in addiction to drugs or alcohol. Find alternative ways to manage your stress. This will allow you to obtain a similar calming result, without the extra calories! Breathing exercises, mindfulness, meditation, yoga, aromatherapy, engaging with your favorite hobbies, and physical exercise are some good and healthy ways to cope with stress on a daily basis. 4 - Improve your sleep quality Research has shown sleep deprivation decreases the activity in the region of your brain responsible for assessing hunger, as well as in the region that controls cravings. Therefore, sleep loss boosts your appetite and drives you toward high-calorie food. As a result, a regular sleep schedule can help you regulate your sleep and therefore help you with your diet. Some other sleep strategies include avoiding screen time before bed and having a consistent bedtime routine. 5 - Seek professional help if you are feeling depressed or if you have experienced trauma Research shows that the relationship between mental health and diet is bidirectional. This means the way you eat affects how you’re feeling as much as your mental state affects your eating habits. For example, depression can increase or decrease your appetite, lower your motivation to cook or move and be associated with more cravings. As for trauma, it can lead to a state of “hypervigilance” or to a sense of “numbness”, both affecting hunger signals, which in turn can lead to poor eating habits. If you’re experiencing mental health challenges, it can be helpful to have the guidance of a mental health worker to approach the changes you want to make from a more global perspective. Reach out to the Psychological Health and Safety Clinic today to speak with a clinic counsellor. Final Thoughts on Diet and Mental Health A lot of us are struggling as a result of the stresses we’ve experienced over our lives. So, it’s important to remember to be gentle with ourselves and our bodies as we move into the new year. Yes, our diet is connected to our mental health and wellness, so we can set good intentions about eating healthy and moving our bodies in a way that feels good without focusing on weight loss. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
My 12-year-old still believes in Santa. It’s embarrassing, but he’s still so hopeful and it’s endearing. I feel responsible. How do I tell him without crushing his spirit? The answer: The short answer? Tell him the truth. The longer answer is that, for me, one of the most amazing things about children is the innocence and enthusiasm of their beliefs. Parents can feel heartbroken, shattering these beliefs with the reality of life – particularly when they have such awe about the wonders of the world. However, this is a part of raising a child and preparing them for the real world. Remember that children can be cruel, and given that he is of an age where the majority of kids know and accept that Santa does not exist – let him know sooner rather than later so that he is not unnecessarily teased. Keep in mind that our modern day Santa has several core roots, including Saint Nicholas who was a historical saint and bishop from the 4th Century. So, there is in fact a historic Santa that does exist – just not the way your son (and most other children) believe. This is important to communicate to him when you break the news – so that he does not feel that he has been told a completely fabricated piece of information. See this as a teaching opportunity. You can introduce the topic by telling your child of Saint Nicholas and how he was recognized and admired for his secret gift-giving. You can talk about the value behind unconditional giving to those that are less fortunate and in need. And then you can gently let your son know that there are actually many “Santa-type” people in the world – that care for and give to others, such as parents, grandparents and other loved ones. Depending on his intellectual maturity, you can describe to him that the Santa portrayed in the media and in the public is a metaphor for or a symbol of those that give. And ultimately you can let him know that it is you, not the big man in red, who provides him with gifts. He may get upset or tearful. He may ask you why you have lied – and you should be honest. State that this is part of the tradition of Christmas, it is part of what makes Christmas fun, and that virtually all other kids (and likely you, at one point) believe in Santa. Remember – parents have been breaking the news that Santa really doesn’t exist for decades, and will continue to do so with no evidence of any long term damage to kids. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. |
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