Mental Health Articles

How to ask for help when you're feeling suicidal

8/5/2025

By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth

Feeling Suicidal? How to ask for help

Over the last decade, conversations about mental health and suicide prevention have become more prevalent. More people are becoming aware of the importance of mental health on our overall health. But unfortunately, we still have a long way to go and stigma is still affecting our ability to ask for help when we’re feeling suicidal or struggling at all.

It’s important to remember that mental illness or thoughts of suicide are not a sign of weakness or a reflection on your character, and asking for help is an incredible show of strength. Know that you deserve support regardless of what in your brain is telling you otherwise. Also, know that help is available. Even if the first person you reach out to is not as helpful as you hoped, try again. Not everyone has the ability to be supportive and that is not a reflection on you. If you don’t have someone in your personal life you rely on, know that there are always crisis lines and professionals who have the training to provide you with the support you need. Don’t give up on support altogether, even if it takes some time to garner it.

How to ask for help when you’re suicidal

Many of us may struggle with asking for help when we’re suicidal because we don’t know what to say. We may not know how to express the feelings we are experiencing, and we may not know what we need or what type of support someone is able (or willing) to offer. These conversations are never going to be perfect, and we are never going to find the perfect words – but saying something is better than nothing.

So, here are some suggestions on how to start these conversations and help to keep yourself safe.

“I am really struggling and don’t feel safe right now, can you stay on the phone with me until I calm down?”

Not being alone can be incredibly helpful when you’re feeling suicidal

“I am feeling [depressed/suicidal] and I don’t know what to ask for, but I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I’m struggling right now, but I’m not ready to talk about it. Will you help to distract me?”

It’s okay to not be ready to dive into an in-depth conversation about your feelings, but this way you can still let the people in your life know that you’re struggling. This can help them be more prepared to help you in the future, and in the meantime, you can benefit from social time and distraction from your current thoughts.

“I’ve been struggling with my mental health and what I’ve been trying isn’t working. Will you help me make a better plan?” (set a particular time and date to do it)

Problem-solving with another person can make a huge difference in finding creative solutions. This may also be an opportunity to develop a safety plan for those moments when we are not feeling safe. We talk about how to make a safety plan in-depth in another article (article to come). Note that setting a particular date and time is an important aspect of this. Not only does it ensure that you make time to do this together, but having a plan to work on solutions in the near future can give us hope that we can work through these things.

“Can you check in with me [at a particular time / every day] just to make sure I’m alright?”

Having someone check-in with you every day helps you to feel more connected and forces us to not isolate ourselves when we are feeling unwell. This type of check-in routine can be approached in many different ways. For example; plan to be self-care buddies and message one another with one thing you’ve done to take care of yourselves each day. Or ask to exchange funny selfies to help lift one another’s mood.

“I’ve been really low. Can you remind me of something you like about me?”

When we are feeling low it can be really easy to think that no one likes us, that we are a burden, or that the people in our lives would be happier/better off if we were gone. Getting a reminder from someone you care about why they like you or having them share a positive memory of the two of you together is a simple thing that can make us feel better about ourselves. Note: this is not fishing for compliments, despite what your brain might be telling you.

Final Thoughts

Asking for help when you’re suicidal can be challenging. Often it can be helpful to be blunt and say that you are feeling suicidal so the person you are reaching out to for support can better support you. It’s not easy to ask for help, but it is strong and it is brave and hopefully, the more we talk about suicide the easier it will be for people to ask for help.

What is Suicidal Ideation? The signs one may be thinking about suicide

10/4/2025

By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth

What is suicidal ideation? The signs one may be thinking about suicide

Suicidal ideation means thinking about or planning suicide or wanting to take your own life. This includes all thoughts from fleeting consideration to detailed planning. If you are thinking about suicide, you are not alone. Many people have thoughts of suicide for a number of reasons and the reasoning behind suicidal thoughts is not wrong. You may feel hopeless and think that nothing can be done to change the situation, but know that having these thoughts does not mean you are weak, or ‘crazy’. Often people think about suicide as a means of escape from their feelings, so just because you are thinking about suicide does not mean that you will act on those thoughts.

Due to the stigma attached to mental health and suicidal ideation, those who experience these thoughts often feel as though they need to hide them from the people around them. Know that connecting to others when we are having these thoughts is extremely important and talking about mental health breaks down the stigma.

Warning Signs of Suicidal Ideation

Warning signs that you or a loved one may be thinking about suicide:

Feeling trapped or hopeless
Isolating yourself from loved ones
Having or appearing to have an abnormal preoccupation with violence, dying, or death
Increased mood swings, anger, rage, and/or irritability
Engaging in risk-taking behaviour like using drugs or having unprotected sex
Getting affairs in order and giving things away
Accessing the means to harm oneself, such as medication, drugs, or a firearm
Experiencing chronic and overwhelming depression or anxiety
Talking about being a burden to others
Saying goodbye to others as if it were the last time

Causes of suicidal ideation

Many people might think suicidal thoughts are attached to mental illnesses like depression or bipolar disorder but there are many causes of suicidal thoughts, some of which are circumstantial. As mentioned previously, suicidal thoughts often accompany thoughts of hopelessness, feeling out of control in life and/or feeling purposelessness. The circumstances that often cause these thoughts are relationship problems, trauma, substance use, a crisis of some sort, the pressure at work, a physical health issue, or financial difficulties.

Taking Action

If you are worried a loved one is thinking about suicide, ask. Asking will not make someone consider suicide if they weren’t already. If you are feeling suicidal, reach out for help. Know suicidal thoughts are common when one is feeling overwhelmed and hopeless, and when there seems to be no way out – but also know those suicidal thoughts won’t last forever, and that help exists.

If you or someone you love is at immediate risk of suicide, call 9-1-1.

Managing Suicidal Thoughts: How to prevent them in the future

20/2/2025

By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth

Managing Suicidal Thoughts: How to prevent them in the future

Suicidal ideation, plans and attempts are common: conservatively, 1 out of 10 adults will consider suicide as an option at some point in their life. Despite how common suicide thoughts are, there are effective, evidence-based approaches to managing suicidal thoughts and reducing their frequency in the future.

Managing Suicidal Thoughts

Problem-solve: It is always helpful to think of ways other than suicide that you can solve your problems. First, make a list of all the problems you are dealing within your life. Second, make a list of all the solutions you can think of for those problems. You can ask someone you trust to help you with this. Dealing with 1 or 2 small problems can help to put an end to immediate feelings of suicide. Once you are thinking more clearly, you can tackle other bigger problems. You can find worksheets on Problem-Solving and Healthy Thinking in the Antidepressant Skills Workbook.
Think of reasons for living: Most people who think about suicide want to escape their pain, but they do not always want to die. When you feel low, it’s easy to stay focused on things that are negative and upsetting in your life. This makes it easy to think of suicide as the only option. Start thinking about some reasons you have for living. For example, many people have relationships with loved ones, pets they love, religion, goals, and dreams, or responsibilities to others in their life that give them reasons to live and prevent them from acting on their suicidal thoughts. Think of all of the reasons you have for living. Write them down. Remind yourself of them when you are feeling low.
Remember things that have helped in the past: Many people have had thoughts of suicide before. Think of some of the things that helped you feel better when you faced the same types of problems in the past. Some examples are: having faith and trust that time always helps; reaching out to friends and family; seeing a professional; going to a support group; following a safety plan; doing something you enjoy; not being alone; keeping a journal; or not drinking or using drugs.
Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or professional: It is important to speak to someone you trust about how you feel. Sometimes just talking about how you feel can help. It is important to be open about all of your thoughts. If you have a suicide plan, it is important to tell someone what your plan is. People often say they are relieved that they shared how they felt with someone. Talking can help you feel less alone.
Do the opposite of how you feel: When you have thoughts of suicide, it can be helpful to do the opposite of how you feel. For example, when people feel depressed they usually want to be alone. Doing the opposite, for example getting in touch with others, can help with feelings of depression.

Preventing Suicidal Thoughts

But, what can we do to decrease the chances of feeling suicidal in the future?

1 - Get treatment for mental health problems: It is important to get treatment for depression, anxiety, and alcohol and drug problems. Just seeing your family doctor may not be enough. It can help to see a mental health specialist, such as a psychologist or a psychiatrist. You can get referrals from your doctor or learn how to find a specialist from one of the referral lines listed on the last page. If you are already receiving treatment, speak up if your treatment plan is not working.

2 - Identify high-risk triggers or situations: Think about the situations or factors that increase your feelings of despair and thoughts of suicide. Work to avoid those situations. For example, going to a bar and drinking with friends may increase feelings of depression. If this is a trigger for you, avoid going to a bar or seeing friends who drink.

3 - Self-care: Taking good care of yourself is important to feel better. It is important to do the following:

Eat a healthy diet
Get some exercise every day
Get a good night’s sleep
Decrease or stop using alcohol or drugs, as these can make feelings of depression and suicide worse

4 - Follow through with prescribed medications: If you take prescription medications, it is important to make sure you take them as your doctor directed. Speak to your doctor if medications aren’t working or if side effects are causing you problems. If you have just begun taking antidepressants, it is important to know that the symptoms of depression resolve at different rates. Physical symptoms such as energy or sleep may improve first. Improvement in mood may be delayed. Speak to your doctor if you are feeling worse.

5 - Structure and routine: Keep a regular routine as much as possible, even when your feelings seem out of control. Here are some tips for creating structure in your life:

Wake up at a regular time
Have a regular bedtime
Have planned activities in your day, such as going for a walk or going to the gym
Continue to go to work or school

6 - Do things you enjoy: When you are feeling very low, do an activity you enjoy. You may find that very few things bring you pleasure. Think of things you used to enjoy doing at times you didn’t feel so depressed or suicidal. Do these things, even if they don’t bring you enjoyment right now. Giving yourself a break from suicidal thoughts can help, even if it’s for a short time.

7 - Think of personal goals: Think of personal goals you have for yourself, or that you’ve had in the past. Some examples are: to read a particular book; travel; get a pet; move to another place; learn a new hobby; volunteer; go back to school; or start a family.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been feeling suicidal know that you’re not alone. And just because you’ve felt suicidal doesn’t mean those thoughts will last forever. Taking small steps toward improving your mental wellness can help to prevent suicidal thoughts from returning. And remember there is help if you need it.

If you or someone you love is at immediate risk of suicide, call 9-1-1.

Causes of Suicidal Thoughts: Helping You Better Understand Your Suicidal Thoughts

14/3/2024

By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth

Helping You Better Understand Your Suicidal Thoughts

Some problems and experiences, especially those that have been around for a long time, can leave you feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. At these times, you may think that you have no options left. You may think about suicide as a way to escape intense emotional pain. There are many potential causes of suicidal thoughts and it can be helpful to better understand your suicidal thoughts in order to work toward managing and preventing them.

People who consider suicide as an option often think that their problems are unbearable and can’t be fixed. They feel like nothing they have tried has or will change their situation. Their emotional pain can distort thinking so it becomes harder to trust, or to see possible solutions to problems, or to connect with available love and support.
Even if it seems that you can’t stand another minute, it is important to remember that feelings (e.g., grief, anger, sadness, loneliness, shame), especially at this intense level, don’t last forever. Sometimes thoughts of suicide can become very strong, especially if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol, particularly when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

Some of the thoughts you may be having are:

Believing there are no other options.
Sensing your family or friends would be better off without you.
Thinking you’ve done something so horrible that suicide is the only option.
Wanting to escape your suffering.
Experiencing unbearable pain that feels like it will go on forever.
Wanting to let your loved ones know how much you hurt.
Wanting to hurt or get revenge on others.

Your feelings of pain are very real. However, it is important to know that there is hope. With the help of professionals and the support of family and friends, you can learn about what is causing your suffering and how you can change or manage it.
Hurting or killing yourself are not your only options. Professionals can help you learn new skills for dealing with your pain. These might include: developing new skills to cope; seeing your problems in a new light; improving your ability to handle intense and painful emotions; improving your relationships; increasing your social supports; or medications.

Causes of Suicidal Thoughts

There are a number of potential causes of suicidal thoughts and you are not wrong or weak for feeling them. But the better you understand where your suicidal thoughts are coming from the better you are able to manage those feelings, Some of the potential causes of suicidal thoughts are:

Mental health problems: Some mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety, can increase feelings of suicide. Mental health problems are treatable. It is important to talk to your doctor if you feel low, depressed, or anxious. Counselling or medication may help, consider signing up for a free consultation with the Psychological Health & Safety Clinic.
Conflict with loved ones: You may feel family or friends would be better off without you. It’s important to remember that conflict with others doesn’t last forever. Ending your life is not a way to solve that conflict. We know that people who lose a loved one to suicide say that their lives are not better off.
Loss: Many different types of loss can increase the chances of feeling suicidal. Some examples include: a break-up; losing a job; losing social status; or losing a loved one or friend. Also, knowing someone who has died by suicide can increase the chance of thinking of suicide as an option. As difficult as your loss may seem, there are people and services that can help you get through difficult times, such as the BC Bereavement Helpline (1-877-779-2223).
Medical problems: Medical problems such as diabetes, thyroid problems, chronic pain, or multiple sclerosis can increase chances that you may think about suicide. Make sure you have proper medical care for health problems. Some medications can increase feelings of suicide. It is important to speak to your doctor about this. You can also get information by calling the BC Nurse Line (8-1-1) or the Living a Healthy Life with Chronic Conditions program (1-877-240-3941).
Sexual and gender identity issues: People who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender may have a higher risk of suicide. Uncertainty about sexual identity and fears of possible or real rejection from family or friends can make things worse. There is support available. Prideline (1-800-566-1170) is peer support and information phone line. Prideline is open 7 days a week, from 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.
Financial/legal problems: Financial or legal problems, such as overwhelming debt, gambling problems, or problems with the law, can be very stressful. It is important to know there may be free services that can help you deal with financial or legal problems. These include the Credit Counselling Society (1-888-527-8999), the Problem Gambling Help Line (1-888-795-6111), or the Legal Services Society (1-866-577-2525).
Lack of connection to friends and others: Thoughts of suicide can increase if you spend a lot of time alone, or don’t feel you can tell anyone your problems. Talk to someone, like a professional, about ways you can increase social support in your life. You may feel the people that are in your life don’t understand the pain you are feeling. Talk to a professional about ways that you can let others know of the pain and unhappiness you are feeling. The Social Supports wellness module at www.heretohelp.bc.ca gives ideas for how to improve your social supports.
Drug and alcohol problems: Using alcohol or drugs can make feelings of depression, anxiety, and thoughts about suicide worse. Drugs and alcohol can change the way you think about problems in your life. If drugs or alcohol are causing your problems, you can get information on treatment from the BC Alcohol and Drug Information and Referral Service (1-800-663-1441).

Final Thoughts

As you can see, there are many potential causes of suicidal thoughts. These thoughts are normal and even though they seem unbearable at the moment they aren’t going to last forever and there is support available. Understanding your suicidal thoughts not only makes it easier to manage these feelings but also makes it easier to ask for help.

If you or someone you love is at immediate risk, call 9-1-1.

How to ask for help when you're feeling suicidal

What is Suicidal Ideation? The signs one may be thinking about suicide

Managing Suicidal Thoughts: How to prevent them in the future

Causes of Suicidal Thoughts: Helping You Better Understand Your Suicidal Thoughts

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