|
By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I find that when something’s bothering me (such as something my brother-in-law says or slacker behaviour by a co-worker) I get really fixated on it and keep turning it over and over in my head. How do I move my mind off it and stop obsessing? The answer: Spending more time than usual thinking about situations that are upsetting or annoying is a very natural human reaction. Rumination (repetitive, obsessive thoughts) and the associated emotional responses (worry, anxiety, anger) serve a useful function. The function of virtually every emotional state is threefold: (1) to validate to ourselves that something is happening that affects something important to us; (2) to communicate to others that we need support or that their behaviour has been inappropriate; (3) and to motivate action. So let’s take a look at the situation relating to your “slacker” co-worker. Your obsessive thoughts (and the associated emotions) may be functioning in the following way: (1) to validate to yourself that you value a strong work ethic and take pride in your work, and you do not respect people who do not hold this same view; (2) your behaviour at work (intentionally or not) may be communicating to your boss that you need him or her to intervene, or you may be communicating to your co-worker that his or her behaviour is unacceptable because it affects your ability to do your job well; (3) it may motivate you toward the action of approaching your boss or another co-worker to seek advice, or to talk directly to the co-worker in question about his or her behaviour and how it is affecting you. An important question to ask yourself is this: Is your rumination serving any of the above useful functions. If so, your job is to understand the function it is serving, and then ask yourself if there anything you can do about it. If yes, take the appropriate action. If no, then your job is to find a way to move on. There are a few strategies that can help. First, increase your awareness to the thoughts you are having (we can’t change thoughts unless we are aware that we are having them in the first place). Then write down your thoughts. It is amazing how powerful thoughts can become when we are caught in the trap of silent rumination. Putting those thoughts on paper is a technique that can help take their power away. Once you have written your thoughts down, ask yourself if the thoughts are realistic and accurate. For example, if you have the thought “my co-worker is a total good-for-nothing and can never do anything right” this is likely not fully realistic nor accurate. For any unrealistic or inaccurate thoughts, come up with more realistic ones (e.g., “my co-worker has not pulled his or her weight on this big project, but generally does a decent job when assigned tasks”). Then actively remind yourself to challenge and replace your negative, extreme thoughts. This takes practice, but over time your mood will improve and the ruminative thoughts will decrease. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I’ve always been a sensitive and emotional person. While I don’t think it’s a negative thing, I do find that I take a lot of comments seriously and personally. Often people may be joking, but somehow I interpret their statements negatively. How can I embrace my sensitivity without going overboard? The answer: I like that you have established a useful and realistic goal for yourself – to embrace a trait you have that, while not all negative, has some downsides for you in certain situations. Any personality trait or attribute exists along a continuum, and we all tend to have a set-point range where we fall along that continuum. The contributing factors are multiple, and ultimately a combination of nature and nurture: the personality and genetics we came into this world with; our early childhood environment; and important life events and circumstances (both positive and negative). Like you, I am high on the sensitivity scale. There are a great things that come along with this – sensitive people are more likely to experience intense positive emotions, tend to connect with others’ emotional experiences on a deeper level, are more attune to changes in others’ moods and, and have a strong ability to empathize with others. However, as you have recognized there are also downsides to being highly sensitive and emotional. You are more likely to personalize things, interpret things with negative intent when it may not exist, and overreact negatively to what may be a perceived insult. I suspect you are also likely to ruminate over things that have been said or done by others, have a hard time letting go of the past, and experience deeper hurt when it comes to conflict in interpersonal relationships. When it comes to our emotional reactions, the single most important factor that shapes how we react is our thoughts. If you are walking down the street, wave to an acquaintance you recently met at a party who ignores you, and think “I must have said something she didn’t like when we met” you are likely going to react negatively. If instead you think (as people who are high in emotional resiliency would) “she didn’t recognize me, seeing me here is out of context” or “she looked preoccupied with a phone call she was on” you will probably have little to no emotional reaction. Identify the automatic thoughts and interpretations that come up for you in situations where you react to others’ comments. Then ask yourself a few key questions: Is the thought/interpretation you are having realistic and accurate? What is the evidence that what you are thinking is not true? What alternative explanations could there be for the comment that was made? Then actively work on replacing the automatic negative/personalized thoughts with thoughts that are more accurate to the situation, based on a review of all of the evidence. I believe a core part of our life’s work is to continue to build awareness of who we are, recognize the patterns and behaviours we engage in that may be negatively impacting us or those around us, and work to continually improve areas of weakness. And you are right – the goal is to not do away with fundamental elements that make you who you are, but rather to embrace those attributes in a way that the positives are maximized and the negatives are minimized so that you are living an overall happier life. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I think I have seasonal affective disorder. How do I know for sure? The answer: Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), more commonly known as “the winter blues,” is a type of depression that impacts about two to three per cent of the general population. Many of us find that our mood and energy levels are affected by the weather: Warmer, sunnier days tend to lift our moods, while cold, rainy, dark days can make us feel gloomier. For a certain percentage of people, the weather (and in particular seasonal variations in light that come along with shorter days) has a more significant impact and can lead to the development of a particular subtype of clinical depression. You may have SAD if you notice the following: – A distinct seasonal pattern to your mood (i.e., very little or no depression symptoms during spring or summer months, when the days are longer) – Persistently low, depressed mood that lasts for usually two to three months during winter months. November to February are the peak months. – Depression symptoms (such as low mood, changes in appetite or weight, decreased energy or fatigue, sleep changes, avoidance of social situations) in the absence of other identifiable triggers or causes – Improved mood if you are in a sunnier climate during the usual “high risk” winter months We don’t understand very well why some people are so much more affected than others by weather and sunlight, but there seems to be a stronger biological/genetic component than with other types of depression. There are a number of very effective strategies that can help lessen the impact of SAD: – Make a point to spend more time outdoors during peak light hours (10am to 2pm), even if it’s only for 10 to 15 minutes during a coffee or lunch break. – Arrange your home and work environments (if possible) to maximize your exposure to direct sunlight: Leave blinds and curtains open and try to be around windows that allow in natural light. – By hypervigilant about taking care of yourself in the fall months, before the usual season dips in mood occur (i.e., exercise, eat a healthy diet, drink alcohol in moderation). – Talk to a physician about the use of a light box; many people find that 10 to 20 minutes of artificial “light therapy,” usually prescribed to be taken first thing in the morning, has significant benefit. In addition to the above, approaches that are effective for general depression, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy from a psychologist or psychiatric medication treatment, are also of significant value. Useful information on Seasonal Affective Disorder and light therapy can be found at the Mayo Clinic site. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth  Spending Less Time with Family Over the Holidays
When big changes happen in your life, like a new relationship, getting engaged, getting married, having children, other things in your life are also going to change – one of those things is holiday traditions. You will, over time, create new traditions with your family – that is, both your extended families and, down the road, your nuclear family if you choose to have kids. So, spending less time with your family over the holiday may make sense but talking about it isn’t necessarily easy. Family Relationships and Shame There’s no shame in wanting to change holiday traditions or wanting to spend more time with your partner’s family over your own. Though do note that shame is one of the most toxic and harmful emotions we can experience. It makes us feel inferior, worthless and wrong and is often associated with a critical voice that tells us we should feel or act in a way that’s different than how we actually have. How to Manage the Changing Traditions this Holiday Season So, the first step in managing new traditions is to work on rephrasing how you feel. If you still want to maintain a relationship with your own family it may feel challenging to tell them you’d like to spend less time with them during the holidays. So, the way you break the news to them can make all the difference. Ask yourself two questions:
You want them to first understand the decision isn’t an easy one for you and that you have mixed emotions about your decision (small white lies don’t hurt in these situations); and second, not begrudge you for your decision. When we struggle with how to approach a conversation, a number of factors get in the way. We don’t know what to say or how to say it; we get caught up in over-thinking the talk, worrying about all the possible – and often unlikely – outcomes; we let our own emotions, like anxiety or fear, get the way; we can’t decide what we really want; or we find that external factors, like how your family may react, are an impediment. We have an element of control over all but the last of these factors. Tips on how to have this conversation with your family:
Final Thoughts It’s also important to note that no one should feel obligated to spend time with family over the holidays. Just because we are related to someone does not mean that having a relationship with them is necessary or even healthy. So, if any members of your family are abusive, toxic or otherwise problematic you are not obligated to spend time with them – even during the holidays. Also, it’s always important to take care of ourselves, and this is particularly true during the holiday season, with the holidays being emotionally charged in a number of ways and the days being shorter which can have an impact on our psychological health and wellness. So, make sure to take care of yourself this Christmas and engage in parties and traditions that are going to be healthy for you. Editor’s Note: This post was originally published as part of a Globe and Mail “Ask the Psychologist” column authored by Dr. Samra, and has been edited and updated. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
At 29, I’m what you’d call “on-paper” successful. I’m in advertising, and I’ve jumped companies more than I count, because I’m always seeking a better pay, better title. Is there anything wrong with that? I just got a promotion, but I’ve already applied at another competing agency. My friends say this is an indication of some deep level of unhappiness – what do you think? The answer: Let me ask you a simple question: do you feel happy in your life right now? The fact that you are driven and wanting to move up in your career at such a young age is not necessarily any indication of any deep-rooted level of unhappiness. Generation Y’ers such as yourself switch jobs more often than any of the generations preceding them. A big part of this is attributable to the nature of work, which has changed tremendously over the past several decades. With technological changes and the associated virtual absence of geographic limits or boundaries, job jumping is much easier due to so many options and possibilities for work than ever before. That said, your friends (and you) are both questioning whether there is anything wrong with what you are doing, so there may be more behind this than meets the eye. You say you are “on-paper” successful. How would you rate your level of success in other parts of your life, such as friendships, intimate relationships, health/fitness, personal development, religion/spirituality? Does your focus on work interfere with your ability to be able to be focused on and have other important parts of your life fulfilled? Think about what your motivations are for being so driven to seek out numerous promotions and job changes. Do you find you are easily bored if you are at one place too long? Do you feel drawn to the excitement and frenzy of moving up quickly and then going on to the next job? Is it a way to distract from other parts of your life that are important to you, but that perhaps are harder to fix? If you feel happy in your life, enjoy your career, and find that you are able to still have time to build other elements of your life that you value and that are important to you, you are in a great position. If you find that your career focus is interfering with other elements of your life that you value and that are important to you, you may need to revisit and revise the way you have been approaching your career and life. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
For the last year my son has been living with me and my current wife. He was taken away from his biological mother’s home because of physical and emotional abuse. Now my son and my wife have power struggles. Anything is a fight, even simple things like doing his chores. And it just gets worse if I try to intervene. It is hard to choose sides: my wife who I love, or my son who is my life. I can’t choose, and it’s harder and harder to have a good home. What can I do to fix this? The answer: I spent a number of years working in child protection, both with parents who perpetrated abuse, as well as with child victims and their non-abusive families. The most important thing is for you to be patient and to be unconditionally there for your son. It will take him time to adjust to a new environment, but most children will test the waters for months or even years before they trust there is consistency and stability in their new environment. And remember that you also do not have to choose sides – your wife holds a certain role in your life, and your son holds another. As you’ve seen with him, the impact of any kind of abuse – physical, sexual, verbal or emotional – can be devastating, particularly when it’s directed toward a child during their formative years. Children manifest the impacts of abuse in myriad ways. Some tend to internalize the effects and withdraw (low mood, isolation, worry, anxiety). Physical symptoms (tummy aches, headaches, generally not “feeling well”) can be common manifestations. Others tend to externalize and demonstrate mood lability – that is, up-and-down mood swings, anger, verbal (and even physical) aggression. These behaviours, particularly aggressive behaviours, serve a self-protective goal: They protect children from being hurt again. All of these behaviours have an underlying thread of emotional pain and fear. As the abuse was perpetrated by his mother, it also is very likely that your son is experiencing difficulties in trusting female caregivers. Your son has had his worldview of them shaped by his previous experiences. He has associated a mother figure with someone who inflicts hurt and harm, and they cannot be trusted to be nurturing and protective. This is all translates into rebellion against your wife’s parenting attempts. Furthermore, he may be viewing your attempts to intervene as an implicit message that you do not understand or support him. The way that you should approach this depends on where your son is at developmentally. Ensure that you are spending one-on-one time with him, and try to understand how is doing emotionally. If he is capable of verbalizing his behaviours, find out what is motivating them. Are there certain triggers (the words your wife uses, or non-verbal behaviours such as her tone or stance) that he is reacting to? What changes would make the relationship more comfortable for him? Speak to your wife separately; I assume that she is not engaging in any inappropriate behaviour. Tell her that you love her and are motivated to do what you can to improve the situation between her and your son. Pay attention to whether there are behaviours she may inadvertently be engaging in that are triggering your son. She is likely – and understandably – frustrated with your son’s behaviours and may be implicitly communicating her frustration. Ensure that she knows you are there to support her, as she may be feeling isolated and helpless. Establish age-appropriate consequences for your son’s behaviours. It is very natural to want to overcompensate for his biological mother’s past abuse by being overly lax with consequences, but children need structure and natural outcomes to behaviours both good and bad. Contact the child protection agency that has been involved with your son to see if counselling supports are available for him – and also importantly, for your family. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I have a really hard time saying no to people but realize it’s time to be more assertive. Are there specific strategies to help me do this? The answer: Assertiveness – being able to respectfully communicate your ideas, feelings and needs, while at the same time balancing the needs of others – is often easier in theory than in actuality. Assertive behaviour is quite different from passive behaviour (not standing up for your rights, or not expressing your needs and feelings) and aggressive behaviour (pushing for your own needs at the expense of others, or not allowing others to express their needs). What makes it so hard to be assertive? Our upbringing, values and personality all play a role. If you grew up in a home where you were not permitted to express your needs, or if those requests were met with an aggressive, dominating or abusive response, chances are over time you learned to quiet your own voice. If you place strong value on “maintaining the peace” when it comes to relationships, you may (incorrectly) view an expression of your needs as being incompatible to that end goal. Or, if you are shy and introverted, it may be hard for you to voice your desires in interpersonal situations. Societal stereotypes and cultural expectations also factor in – for example, women often have a harder time being assertive in some situations than men, and individuals from certain backgrounds, such as Asian cultures, may be taught that being assertive is a non-desirable trait. What you need to keep in mind is that assertive behaviour is fundamentally respectful behaviour – it balances your rights with the rights of others, without putting one above the other. People often feel better about themselves when they are assertive, and others will demonstrate more respect for the person too. And remember, being assertive is not incompatible with being kind or empathetic. Here are five tips on how to build your assertiveness and learn to say no: 1. Identify the situations in which you would like to be more assertive. Being able to anticipate the scenarios where you would like to change your behaviour is the first step. 2. Identify your personal barriers. Think about the reasons it is hard for you to say no, and ask yourself if those assumptions are valid and accurate. Challenging the thoughts that interfere with your ability to say no can help you move forward; for example, if you believe that saying no makes you difficult to get along with, ask yourself if that is really true, and find other pieces of evidence that are incompatible with that belief. 3. Specifically articulate what you would like to say and think about why that is important to you. One of the hardest things about saying no is that “no” alone doesn’t capture the spirit of why you need to be assertive, and it can sometimes come across as rude. So, if you have made plans with a friend to see a show on Sunday night, rather than just saying “no,” add in the reason: “I’d love to see you, but I’m going to have to decline. I’ve realized I really need to get a decent night’s sleep before the work week starts, otherwise I’m wrecked for the day! How does the Tuesday early show work?” 4. Get feedback from a trusted friend. Receiving an objective opinion on how you want to communicate your needs can help you reshape your words/messaging if needed. Ask for feedback your words, tone and posturing. Non-verbal communication is hands down the most important part of how we communicate. 5. Practice, practice, practice! Visualize yourself saying no, practice in front of the mirror, and try it out in neutral situations that have a low risk for harm (with wait staff at a restaurant, a sales clerk at a store). Practice makes perfect, and part of the challenge is just becoming comfortable saying words that may feel unfamiliar to you. Then, go for it. Try saying no in situations that matter to you – you will probably learn very quickly that the sky will not fall down once you begin asserting your needs. The only qualification is that if you have taken a very passive role in certain relationships, it may take others a little bit of getting used to the new you. Note: If you are in any abusive relationship, assertive behaviour may not be sufficient to protect yourself. In this situation, seek out professional help and advice on how to proceed. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I recently had my second child – shouldn’t this be a happy time for a mother? But I feel lost. It’s like I’m not living my own life any more. Is that normal? What should I do? The answer: Having a baby can be one of the happiest moments in life … yet it is also high on the list of stressful life events. Most women experience myriad emotions after giving birth – excitement, happiness, elation and joy. In addition to the usual (expected) positive emotions, many women also experience low or sad mood, tearfulness, frustration or a sense of emptiness. These negative emotions are often a surprising reaction to what most feel should be a unilaterally happy event. This experience, however, is extremely common. As many as 75 per cent of moms will experience the “baby blues,” which in addition to low mood can also include a general feeling of flatness or emptiness. Unfortunately, however, many feel a sense of shame in terms of talking about their negative emotions. There are a number of factors that contribute to the baby blues. The delivery and postpartum process leads to significant hormonal changes. Progesterone levels – which play a role in mood, energy and libido, among other things – decrease dramatically to allow milk production to begin. There is a significant increase in adrenalin during delivery, and then a crash afterward. This, combined with the physical demands of birth and the associated sleep deprivation, understandably leads to a major impact on mood. In addition, there are substantive life changes that come along with the responsibility of caring for another human life. This can be compounded by already having one baby and can, not uncommonly, lead moms to feel overwhelmed and lost. Most women find that their mood will lift within a few weeks as they get used to the baby and their new schedule, as hormone levels stabilize, and as mom and baby get into a routine. Talking about how you are feeling to those that are close to you can help. Joining a moms’ baby group in your community can provide you with additional support and may help you feel that what you are experiencing is normal. Ask those close to you for help in day-to-day things that feel overwhelming (housecleaning, grocery shopping, meal preparation). Build in short windows of time in which your partner or other trusted friend or family member can watch the baby while you get some time to yourself. Build in self-care activities, such as taking an uninterrupted bath, going for a walk or getting a massage. If you are persistently feeling low, flat or empty for more than a month, you may benefit from seeking professional assistance. About one of 10 women will develop clinical levels of depression that are important to treat early on. Ask yourself if you are feeling low or flat more often than not for weeks or longer. Do you have a loss of interest in usual activities and things that you would normally enjoy? Are you experiencing significant appetite changes, persistent anxiety or pervasive irritability? If so, speaking to your nurse, midwife, doula or family doctor is important. They may suggest a referral to a mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. If at any point you feel you are at risk to harm yourself or your baby, immediately seek help and call 911. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth
The question: I told a friend about a job I was applying for. The opportunity excited her, and she asked if she could apply too. I said okay, but I’m really ticked now and feel like I can’t trust her. Can our friendship be salvaged? The answer: Let me get this straight: You tell your friend about the job that you want; she directly approaches you and asks for your permission to apply; you say yes, but now you don’t trust her? I am confused! I’m unclear how or why this has created a trust issue – trust is broken when one deceives, misleads or betrays us. Unless I’m missing something, none of these instances apply to this situation. It sounds as though you are more upset with yourself than anything else, and that your frustration with the decisions you made (to tell your friend about the job, to say yes she could apply) is being projected on her. Ask yourself honestly whether the issue relates to anything your friend has done or said. I suspect the decision you are most upset about is, in the spur of the moment, replying “okay” when she asked about applying as well. Ask yourself why you said “okay” when you more likely meant to say “no,” so that you don’t do it again if you are ever in another similar situation. Are you a people-pleaser who easily succumbs to others’ requests? Do you hate disappointing your friends? Do you find it uncomfortable when someone is upset with you? Once you identify what the factors are, you will know how to move forward in an effective manner. Now, whether or not you can salvage your friendship – yes, of course you can. The best policy is honesty – you don’t want to move forward in your friendship with the elephant still in the room. Be proactive, short and to the point. Tell your friend there’s something that is bugging you, and take responsibility for your contribution. You could say something like: “I have to just put something out there about the job we both applied for. I know when you asked me about applying, I said ‘yes,’ but I realized after that I was actually super excited about the job and really wanted it. So I said ‘yes’ when I didn’t really mean it. That’s my fault, and I really respect that you asked if it was okay if you could apply. Anyway, I don’t want the job to get in the way of our friendship and I want to move on. I just wanted to let you know where I was at.” Then, do move on. For all of us, hindsight is always 20/20. Pay attention to the lessons you have learned about yourself. And above all, don’t let a job get in the way of a friendship that you value. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The Question:
My friend is convinced she has wrinkles and needs to get botox. She has absolutely no wrinkles that I can see (in fact, her skin is wonderful). I am concerned about her warped perception of her appearance. Why can’t she be happy with how she naturally looks? The Answer: A woman's relationship with her appearance is one of the most complicated relationships she will encounter in her lifetime. The relationship is mitigated by a number of factors, that includes a strong sense of self, confidence in other traits and attributes she possesses, and her overall sense of happiness. Our modern day society, however, is wreaking havoc on the self-image of even the most secure women, and I am seeing in increasing number of particularly younger, objectively attractive women in my practice who are consumed with undergoing procedures to further enhance how they look. I think this is an artifact of a number of factors. We live in the age of a technological revolution where we are literally bombarded with myriad images, on every medium and form, that set expectations for what society’s ostensible “standards” are for beauty. One would be hard pressed to find a television show or film without a star that has either privately or – as is the current trend – publicly pronounced the cosmetic surgeries she has had. Gone is the shame and stigma with undergoing enhancement procedures. And, gone are the days where cosmetic surgeries were only for the very rich and famous. The last decade has witnessed an explosion of the range of available cosmetic procedures and clinics, and the drastic drop in costs has made many of these services accessible to the every-woman. Virtually all of us engage in some element of appearance enhancement – ranging from the clothes we wear, the grooming practices we engage in, and the makeup we put on. A decision to engage in something more significant (and arguably not benign in terms of long term health impacts) is a very personal decision. As a friend, your job is to support and not judge your friend for the very personal decision she is making; however, as a friend, it is also your job to (respectfully and kindly) express the concern you have to her. Start a dialogue with her about her reasoning for wanting to get botox. Most importantly, listen to her reasons, as that may give you an indication whether her decision is a temporary knee-jerk reaction to fleeting insecurity or unhappiness, or if it is a well-thought out, considered decision to engage in a procedure, fully understanding the potential risks. If the former, try to listen to support your friend as best as you can and ask her what you can do to help. Encourage her to defer the decision until she is in a better place emotionally. If the latter, focus on keeping your opinions to yourself, and maintaining the friendship. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. |
PH&S ClinicEnhancing psychological health, wellness and resilience Archives
December 2024
Mental Health
All
|
RSS Feed
