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By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
My father-in-law suffers from depression. He admits this but he hates what he calls the “medical model”, including psychologists, and refuses to see a professional. Is there any way to help him with his depression? The answer: Although as a society we are gradually improving in our awareness and understanding of psychological health conditions, unfortunately a considerable amount of stigma continues. Stunning, given that the statistics indicate that one out of four Canadians (or more) will at some point in their lifetime struggle from a diagnosable depression or anxiety disorder. Individuals from certain demographic groups – including older adults, men, and those from certain cultural backgrounds – tend to have even more difficulty than the average person in both admitting to and seeking assistance for mental health issues. Often this comes from a combination of not fully understanding what psychological health difficulties mean or entail; feelings of shame or embarrassment; feeling that one is “weak” for having emotional difficulties; and hopelessness that their difficulties are not getting better. Your father-in-law admitting that he he has depression is a positive step. His statements of “hating” the “medical model” may be grounded in a lack of understanding of what treatments look like, and a lack of hope that treatment could be helpful. I wonder what he means by “the medical model”. Certainly the traditional medical model view of mental health issues (i.e., that a biochemical imbalance unilaterally leads to illness) is not supported by the research. The evidence is very clear: that, like most physical health conditions, psychological difficulties such as depression are the result of a complex interplay of a number of factors: Genetics/family history, early childhood experiences, stressful life events, personality factors, our ways of thinking, and the behaviours and actions we engage in all play an important role in whether or not any one of us develops depression. Start by speaking to your father-in-law and indicating you are worried about him. Acknowledge that you understand he has strong feelings about the medical model, but that you understand there may be other effective treatments out there that may help him that maybe he could think about exploring. Try to understand what exactly he is resistant to. Is he worried about taking medications and becoming “addicted” or having side effects? Has he tried treatments before that were ineffective? Is he nervous about sharing private issues with someone? If you can better understand his apprehension, you may get useful information that can help you know how to better support him. You may also find it helpful to read more about ways to support a family member with depression. You can find useful links to a number of free, evidence-based individual and family resources for depression on at the Psychological Health & Safety Clinic. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
My friend was a few months along in her pregnancy when she recently had a miscarriage. How do I support her without being intrusive or overbearing? The answer: Miscarriages are, unfortunately, relatively common. Up to one out of five women will experience a miscarriage, with the large number occurring within the first seven weeks of gestation, not uncommonly before the woman even knows she is pregnant. In spite of the frequency, the loss of a pregnancy – particularly several months into the term – can be a huge emotional loss. A number of factors impact a woman’s reaction to a miscarriage: how far along she was in the pregnancy; her age; how long she had been trying to get pregnant; whether she has other children; and whether she has had difficulties with fertility. Current or pre-existing mood issues, such as depression or anxiety, may also be exacerbated or triggered post-miscarriage. All too often, people don’t know what to say to someone who has experienced a loss, and instead they stay silent. Or conversely, as you are worried, they may inadvertently amplify difficulties by becoming overly intrusive. The best thing for you to do is to gently speak to your friend and ask her what would be helpful. Let her know you love her, and want to support her the best you can. Explain your worry explicitly – tell your friend that you respect her need for privacy and personal grieving, and that you want to ensure you aren’t being intrusive or overbearing. Finally, let her know you are there to listen. And do just that: listen. Don’t try to tell her you understand what it feels like (as this can be perceived as invalidating, particularly if you haven’t experienced a miscarriage yourself). Resist the urge to problem-solve or to be Pollyannaish in your advice. For example, saying things such as “look on the bright side, you are so young and can try again!” will probably not be helpful and could make her feel even less understood. Ask her what you can do to help. She may very much welcome logistical or pragmatic assistance: You can prep meals for her, clean her home, offer to watch her other children if she has them. You can also suggest to attend a doctor or midwife’s appointment with her to get more information on next steps and options. Pay attention to what she says and try to honour it. Often, even when we mean well, we offer the kind of support to others that we ourselves would want, without being attune to the unique needs the other person has. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
My husband’s family keeps psychological illness in the closet. How do I discuss openly with my children their cousin’s illness without antagonizing my in-laws? The answer: Unfortunately, there continues to be a significant degree of stigma around psychological health issues. Statistics indicate that 1 out of 4 Canadian adults will struggle with one of the more common psychological health conditions (depression or anxiety) at some point in their life. There are two distinct issues you are raising: how to discuss the illness of a family member with your children, and how to not antagonize your in-laws. Separate these issues out and deal with them independently: First, I would suggest that you and your husband have an open and candid discussion about where you stand as individuals and as parents with respect to this issue. What are your respective beliefs about psychological illnesses? What are your values about what and how you speak to your children about this and other sensitive topics? What discussions are each of you comfortable in having with your children? If your husband holds some of the beliefs that his family does, this may be a challenging conversation. The goal is to agree on how to approach discussions with your children. There are a few things to keep in mind. First, my strong belief is that speaking openly with children about even difficult or sensitive topics is almost always the best approach to take. Conversations should always be age appropriate in terms of both the amount of information given and the language used to describe what someone is experiencing. Having open conversations about difficult topics with kids can open the door for them to communicate with their parents about difficult topics when need be. Discussing psychological health issues openly and respectfully with your kids also gives them a very powerful message: that you would accept them if they ever struggled. This keeps the door open for them to speak to you if they were to ever struggle at some point in their life. The second issue you raise relates to you not antagonizing your in-laws. In-law relationships can be tricky to navigate around in the best of times. Although being sensitive to this is important, to both maintain peace in the family and out of respect for your husband, ultimately you need to decide what values and behaviours you will model in your family and you need to stand behind this as a couple. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Xavier Mercader Psychological Impacts of Taking Care of a Child with a Heart Condition
I’m sure anyone who’s had a child, will agree that the birth of your first, is one of the most blissful moments in life. As new parents, you spent time reading about how to take care of a child (as if there was an actual manual for it). You prepare your future child’s bedroom, make lists of what they’ll need, buy clothes and attend prenatal classes. All in preparation for the day that will change your life. But no matter how well you think you’re prepared, whether or not you’re a first-time parent or if it’s your fourth child, I don’t believe anyone is ever fully ready for it. In my case, my wife and I were lucky – she had a really easy pregnancy. She felt great the entire time and was even going to the gym three days before her due date. Even the delivery felt easier than I thought it would – not that I was going to do the hard part – but men are usually more afraid than their pregnant counterparts; even if they won’t admit it. Our daughter was taking her time, so my wife was induced. The epidural shot worked great, and my wife was even able to take a nap before showtime. After forty-five minutes of active labour, we met our daughter and I even cut the cord without fainting! The first month felt like it went by in the wink of an eye. We were tired and obviously sleep-deprived, but we couldn’t be happier to have welcomed our daughter into our lives. The News During one of our regular check-ups, the doctor told us she noticed our little one had an odd way of breathing. So, we were referred to a pediatrician. The pediatrician didn’t see anything odd with her breathing but told us he could hear a murmur. He said it was probably just a murmur, but suggested it might be good to go to the ER to get it checked out. I don’t remember how many hours we spent at the ER or how many tests they ran. All I remember is hearing a doctor, at 2 AM, telling us “we are going to admit you” to the hospital. Our one-month-old daughter had a heart condition called Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD), that was causing her ventricular hypertrophy and as a result, was filling up her lungs with fluid. In one day, all that happiness and bliss turned into fear, uncertainty and doubt. We felt powerless, unable to do anything but sit and wait for the doctors to tell us the plan. How everything changedAfter a week, we were cleared from the hospital and given prescriptions to give to our daughter. Captopril to help her heart work better, and two diuretics – one to get rid of captopril once it had its effect as it has a certain level of toxicity, and the other one to reduce the fluid in her lungs. So as new parents, that a month before didn’t even know how to change a diaper, now had to cope with administering three different medications. Giving a child that young medication is extremely challenging; we had to ensure she swallowed them, without spitting them out or choking. Most times, we were lucky if she swallowed half. We were unprepared for this. One morning when giving her her medication, before leaving for work, I thought she was swallowing them just fine. Until she started to turn red. She was unable to breathe for a few seconds. I turned her over and patted her back till she finally spat it all out. I’ve never been more scared in my life. The thought that I could’ve lost her, had me shaking and as a result, I was unable to go to work. The days I did go to work were weird. Some days, it felt like everything was ok and other days, I could barely hold back tears. But most days when I came home I would find my wife crying. Typically I’m good at cheering her up, but this was different, there was nothing I could say or do to help. I worried about that a lot. I felt useless, unable to ease my wife’s pain. At times, being able to leave my place for a few hours, felt like a mental break from everything. But at the same time, I couldn’t stop worrying about my wife and daughter at home. It was tense 24/7. We would put our baby to bed, try to relax, watch some tv, but we couldn’t. Our Next Steps In another check-up, the cardiologist told us our daughter would likely need open-heart surgery. But all we could do is wait and see how everything goes. It would all depend on how well she was gaining weight. If she started to gain weight normally, it was possible she wouldn’t need the surgery. But if she continued below the growth charts, it would mean her heart condition was keeping her from growing normally (this is what they call failure to thrive). So, we tried our best to get her to eat better. But how would she gain any weight if she was taking two diuretics three times a day and she wasn’t finishing her bottles? Every time we went to her check-ups, she was below the growth charts. And every time we were told the same thing. “It’s too early to decide, let’s see how everything goes”. This made every feeding time tense. All we could think was “I hope she eats a bit more now”. After a few months of stress, we went from not wanting our baby to have surgery, to wanting her to have it. We didn’t actually want our baby to have to go through surgery, but we did want her heart fixed and to be able to leave the stress behind us. With time, our little one started to gain weight. We were told she was doing well but still needed to wait to decide about the surgery. Our, now toddler, was able to play and do all the things other children do, so we started to relax slightly. We couldn’t stop worrying completely, but at last, we received some good news. At her last check-up, we were told she won’t need surgery after all. She will be able to live a normal life. The Connection with Mental HealthTaking care of a child with any health condition is sure to take a toll on the mental health of their parents. In my experience, parents feel stressed, depressed, helpless and a sense of unfairness asking themselves “why does this have to happen to OUR baby?” This feeling of unfairness, also makes us feel alone and isolated. I remember going to one last prenatal class to meet with the group of parents after all our babies were born, to share our experiences about giving birth. There were approximately 13 couples and most of them shared bad experiences: they had either during the final stages of pregnancy or during labour, but all of their babies were healthy. They had the ability to look back to those difficult experiences with a smile. When it was finally our turn, we didn’t have a bad labour experience to share, only our baby’s heart problem. And that made us feel very alone. What I Learned About Managing Mental Wellness Although everyone’s experience is different, the following are my personal tips for a parent dealing with a similar issue.
Conclusion Caring for a child with a heart condition or other illness is a situation that no parent is prepared for. It can be physically and emotionally taxing to not only manage the realities of a child’s illness, like giving my young daughter medication, but also the fears associated with the illness and the unknowns that can come with that. Even though during this time you likely want to spend all of your energy taking care of your child, it’s also important to take time for your own mental health. Overall, you will be better able to take care of your child and manage the illness if you’re also taken care of. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
We recently moved to a new neighbourhood, which means my daughter will be starting Grade 9 without the comfort of having her friends there too. She’s terrified of starting high school without familiar faces and as much as I try to reassure her that she will make new friends she is still extremely unhappy. What do I do? The answer: The transition to high school can be a difficult one for many teens – the shift from being a big fish in a little pond to a little fish in a big pond can feel intimidating and overwhelming. Add on to that the differing demands of high school, teenage hormones, and the absence of other stabilizing factors (friends) and a potential recipe for unhappiness can be brewing. For all of us, situations feel particularly stressful when they are (1) unpredictable and (2) out of our control. Try to be mindful of ways you can foster a sense of predictability and control for your daughter. As a parent your urge is to want to protect your child from any hurtful situation, and often the approach parents take is to try to reassure through telling (e.g., “you will make new friends;” “you’ll be fine;” “it’s not as scary as you think”). Unfortunately, this is not the most effective strategy. Think about times you were in a stressful or upsetting situation – likely, someone telling you it would be better didn’t work. Not only can this approach feel like it is minimizing the concerns we have, but it can feel invalidating of the feelings we are having. (Most people take this approach by the way – not out of ill will, but from a lack of awareness of knowing what to do or say.) All of us have a core fundamental need to feel understood and validated, particularly when feeling stressed. So start by focusing on simply listening to your daughter. Do not interrupt and do not problem-solve – just ask open-ended questions to understand what she is most scared about (“help me understand what you are most scared about and what you think it will be like”). Try to get her to be as specific as possible and to go through all the worst-case scenarios she is imagining (e.g., “I won’t have anyone to eat lunch with”). You must resist the urge to tell her she is inaccurate or that what she is fearing won’t happen. Instead, ask her how likely she thinks it is that those situations will arise. And ask her what makes her think that is going to happen. Try to get her to verbalize the worst outcome and ask her to think about what the most likely situation may be. Ask her to be specific about what she is most worried about (“if you got to school, and you had no one to eat lunch with, what is most upsetting about that to you?”). Have her think about how she would deal with the worst imagined situation (“if you were all alone at lunch, what things do you think you could do to make the situation better?”). Encourage her to talk to family friends or cousins that are a bit older and can provide her some words of advice and comfort, as that may help. Then, just be there for her as a listening ear particularly during the first few days and weeks of high school. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
My friend thinks her husband is cheating on her. They have been married for six years and have a child. From what she’s told me about their relationship, it seems like all the signs are pointing to infidelity: things have gone downhill fast and there is no intimacy. She’s asked me what my thoughts are. I think she would be better off without him, but how can I tell her the truth about my feelings? I don’t want to lie. The answer: Keep your opinions to yourself. And if you feel tempted to do otherwise, rewind and repeat that mantra to yourself. Rarely, if ever, does any good come from providing candid opinions about others’ relationships – particularly when the stakes are high given that there is a marriage and a child involved. I understand that your opinion is being sought and that, as a friend, you want to be truthful. However, brutal honesty is not always the best policy. You can still be forthright without necessarily revealing the entirety of your thoughts – this is not being dishonest. You’re simply being a helpful friend by respecting both the relationship and acknowledging that ultimately your girlfriend has to arrive at a decision about what to do next. If any of us went through life fully verbalizing the “bubble above our head,” it’s likely most of our relationships would end. The main consideration here is that you both have a suspicion, but no hard facts about whether or not he is cheating. They are ultimately the only people who can come to a resolution about how their relationship should unfold. As a result, there is little to no value in sharing your opinions. Your role therefore is twofold: to provide her support and help guide her toward making the best decision for herself and their child. Listen to your friend’s concerns and ask her what is making her feel suspicious. Discuss with her the options she thinks she has – waiting and seeing how things transpire, starting a conversation with him, getting more information on her suspicions, etc. Let her know that you will support her however you can, but that you are not in her shoes and that it’s not your place to tell her what to do. There are only two circumstances in which providing your candid thoughts would make sense: if you had objective, first-hand evidence that he was cheating, or if it was the early stages of a new relationship where the potential risks of providing your blunt opinion were low. Meddling in a marriage on limited information does not fit within either one of those situations. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I have a close friend I’ve known for 20 years who still can’t control her temper. Once or twice a year she completely loses it – yelling, screaming at me, an adult version of what you expect from a four-year-old’s tantrum. Later she’s ashamed and mortified. What can she do? What can I do? The answer: No matter how hard we wish, we simply do not have the ability to change other people. The only person we have control over is ourselves, and that alone can be difficult to do even in the best of times. So, there are only two things you can do: Monitor – and, more importantly, modify – your responses to your friend’s tantrums, and offer to support her if she wants to make changes. One of two things usually explains the presence of longstanding, ingrained behaviours that have lasted decades; the most likely situation is that your friend’s intermittent outbursts are working for her. Ostensibly, they allow her to communicate her distress to those around her. Likely, her outbursts have the actual effect of modifying the behaviours of those in her environment. But unfortunately, the negative consequences (feeling shame, feeling mortified) haven’t been sufficient in motivating her to make changes to her behaviour. Another less likely, but certainly tenable, possibility is that she truly has wanted to change, but hasn’t found the tools she needs to do it. By tools, I mean alternate strategies to manage and cope with trigger factors, and effective ways to communicate how she is feeling to others. Tantrum-like behaviour, for children and adults alike, is really just communication behaviour. Psychological or substance-use factors can certainly contribute (a personality disorder, or alcohol or drug use), but essentially she is making a decision to act or react in a particular way. Ask yourself: How do you respond to her behaviour? It sounds as though, at some level, you have tolerated her actions. What factors trigger her to react this way to you? What do you do (or not do) after she reacts this way? And, have you given her feedback about the impact on you? What contribution do you make to the situation, if any? I do not ask this in a blaming way, but I want to ensure that you are not engaging in similarly inappropriate behaviour toward her. Assuming that you do not play any significant role in her behaviour, you need to have a very blunt conversation with your friend. Let her know in no uncertain terms that the way she acts is unacceptable, and although you have tolerated it, you will not continue to do so. Let her know that you value her friendship and are prepared to help her develop skills that can better control her anger. Offer to help her understand what her triggers are, and seek professional help from a mental-health professional with expertise in anger-management skills. The Anger Management Sourcebook, by Glenn Schiraldi and Melissa Kerr, offers cognitive-behavioural strategies that teach people to identify personal triggers of anger – and better cope with those feelings. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
My friend has been pining over a guy who is stringing her along. It’s been over a year now. How do I convince her it’s time to move on? The answer: Unfortunately, when it comes to matters of the heart, there is very little if anything that any of us can do to “convince” someone to feel (or not feel) a certain way. That said, watching someone you love and care about be in a relationship with someone who is not treating them well, or where they are not getting what they deserve, can be nerve-wracking and frustrating. Remember that your primary role as a friend is to love and unconditionally support her and her decisions. At the same time, be honest about how you feel. You don’t have to pretend that you like the guy she is interested in. If you haven’t already done so, let your friend know that you love her. Describe the type of person you would like to see her with, and communicate why that is important to you (e.g., “you are such a kind and caring person, you deserve to be with a guy who is there for you when you are having a bad day, not someone who takes a week to get back to you”). Let her know that you are there for her and will always support her decisions, but that as her friend you want to also be honest about how you feel. You can be specific about the types of behaviours you see this guy engaging in that worry or concern you. Convey that you understand she cares for this guy. Try not to be overly critical, as bad-mouthing him may alienate your friend, or lead to her feeling that you are criticizing her. Try to understand what it is that is keeping her hooked with this guy: attempt to genuinely understand things from her perspective. Be open to the fact that there are elements of the ‘relationship’ that are working well for her. Ask if she is happy and okay with the situation. If the answer is yes, your job as a friend may be to simply accept her decisions and not judge. If the answer is no, try to understand what is keeping her engaged. Does she feel like she doesn’t deserve any better? Is she insecure? Is she having a hard time meeting other people? If so you may want to try to focus on talking about these things with her, and being a supportive friend that helps her to problem-solve ways to overcome the barriers that keep her in this relationship. Ultimately, though, remember that it remains her decision, and that your role is to support and accept (not necessarily agree with) your friend’s decisions. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth
The question: There’s a group of us who hang out, and we are pretty sure that one of our friends is gay. We don’t care, we just wish he wouldn’t hide it if that’s the case. Should we ask him outright? The answer: Coming out is a deeply personal process that can be immensely difficult and challenging. I’m happy to hear that among your group, your friend’s sexuality is irrelevant (in a good way) and a non-issue when it comes to how you view him. It sounds like you will accept and support him when he does choose to come out. Whether you should ask him outright is a tricky issue. On one hand, there’s something to be said for communicating to him that you accept him regardless of his sexuality. However, you need to balance that openness with the need to not put him in a position where he’s forced to come out when he’s not ready. Asking him outright may put him in awkward position, and you need to respect that he will come out when he feels he is personally ready to do so. He may also feel that it’s important that he first comes out to certain people in his life – like his family – before anyone else, even your group of friends. Consider the myriad challenges your friend may be facing. He may be going through the personal challenge of accepting his own sexuality before he comes out to others. He may be unsure how to tell those close to him. He may not be sure what reaction he will get from family and friends – those that he cares about and whose opinions matter to him. The best thing you and your friends can do is ensure that you are mindful of actions that may inadvertently create an unsupportive environment. Pay attention to the language you use and the jokes you make. It often stuns me how frequently people, just in day-to-day conversation, with no malicious intent, use words that can alienate someone who is gay. Also, take some time to learn more about the experiences people have when they first come out, so you can better understand what your friend may be going through. PFLAG Canada has links to a range of resources and support agencies that you may find helpful. Pay attention to your friend’s behaviour: It may be indirect communication he is giving about his sexuality. Think about your responses to him. Not uncommonly, people “test the waters” with those close to them before they come out, by observing how people react to seemingly neutral situations or stories. Whenever the opportunity arises, let your friend know what he means to you and what qualities you value in him. If it is appropriate and not awkward, try to convey that you would accept him no matter what. When he does come out, offer to support him however you best can in coming out to other friends, family or coworkers. And, most importantly, let him know how you feel – which is that his sexuality makes no difference to how you view him and your friendship. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth  How to support a friend or loved one who is suicidal
A friend or loved one is an important resource and source of support for those who are feeling suicidal. Even if you don’t feel as prepared to support someone you care about through these times, there are ways you can be supportive. Just know that you don’t always have to know exactly what to say or do. Often being present with someone is enough to keep them distracted and safe. As well as being aware of warning signs of when they’re high risk can help ensure they get the support they need during a crisis. The most important thing is to be there for your friend or loved one, and listen without judgment. Validate that their pain is real, and remind them that you are there for them. Ask them what they need, and what would be most helpful for them. If you feel additional support is needed, don’t hesitate to encourage them to seek professional help—and offer to help them do it. Steps to Support a Friend Who is Suicidal So, what are the things you can do to support someone who is suffering from mental health challenges and may be considering suicide? 1 Know the signs. Admitting to someone that you’re struggling is a challenging thing for many people, but sharing that you’re thinking of suicide is often even harder. Many people hold back admitting their thoughts of suicide out of fear of how people will react. So, knowing the signs can help you to provide the appropriate support. Most of the signs are around hopelessness; some of these signs include a preoccupation with death, getting their affairs in order, saying goodbye and withdrawing from others. 2 Listen attentively and without judgement. If someone does come to you with their thoughts of suicide, try to remain calm and listen to them attentively and without judgment. Focus on just being with the individual and allowing them an opportunity to express their emotions without interrupting or giving advice. 3 Start the conversation. Suicide is incredibly challenging to talk about or even raise – so if you are concerned, you can be helpful by asking your loved one gently but directly if they’re suicidal. This lets them know that it’s okay to talk about it with you and creates a space where they can express their thoughts. Be direct and ask if the person is considering suicide rather than hinting at it or implying it. 4 Evaluate their risk. Once someone has shared their thoughts of suicide, it is important to determine their level of immediate risk; are they just thinking that death may be a nice option if it somehow just happened (passive suicidal ideation) or are they actively wanting to do something to hurt themselves (active suicidal ideation)? There are a few questions you can ask to determine their level of risk:
5 How to take action.
Final Thoughts Know that there is only so much you can do to support someone and it can feel defeating if you have done everything you can but the person you care about is still struggling. Do everything you can, but know you can’t do everything. Make sure that you, as a support system/caregiver, are also making time to take care of yourself. Giving to others can be emotionally draining and you are only able to continue to help if you take care of yourself first. Note: if you are struggling to provide support and don’t know what to do at any point, you can also call the suicide crisis line for information, resources and suggestions that can help you to support your loved one. |
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