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By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth  In recent years, work has undergone a major shift. What was once viewed as a means to an end or a way to support our families, has shifted into something greater. Today, more than ever, we seek jobs that align with our values and give us purpose. The focus on finding a personally fulfilling career is a relatively new phenomenon—it’s certainly something our parents and grandparents didn’t emphasize nearly as strongly as we do now.
But what happens when we’re at a job that no longer gives us meaning? We now face a dilemma of choosing to stay on our current path, risk switching to a new job (which may not fulfill us any more than our current one does) or go back to school for something completely different. It all comes down values Certainly, the work that we do in our day-to-day lives is an important part of who we are, and it can have a tremendous impact (positive or negative) on our level of happiness, personal fulfillment, sense of self, and overall quality of life. Unfortunately, there’s no right or wrong answer to the question of staying in a career or going back to school. Ultimately, it comes down to personal values and the weight that is placed on them. As a person ages, and has more financial commitments or is looking to take steps forward in other aspects of their life, like marriage or children, making a career shift becomes a more and more challenging decision to make. 6 things to consider before making a switch Here are some things to consider whether or not to change careers or go back to school: 1. Is age a primary barrier? If so, five words: You. Are. Still. Very. Young! Research tells us that the average person entering the workforce now will make up to seven distinct shifts in their career throughout their lifetime. A number of factors (enhanced life expectancy, changing nature of society and work, financial demands) are leading people to work years longer than their predecessors did, with the average age of retirement now closer to 70. 2. Ask yourself if you could truly and sincerely see yourself in your current career for the rest of your life? If that thought evokes considerable distress, you have your answer. 3. Consider how imminent other future changes are. It is certainly responsible to be planning for your future, but do you have immediate plans to make significant changes in your life? You are doing an injustice to yourself if you delay making a career transition because of future unknowns that may or may not happen as you have planned. 4. Maintenance of your current lifestyle (and financial obligations) is a very real consideration. Are there ways to be creative in working around this as a barrier? For example, consider getting a roommate to help with the mortgage or other bills while you go back to school. Starting a part-time program of study that allows you to continue to work and earn a salary may be a nice balance that fits with maintaining your current lifestyle, while continuing to pursue alternate career aspirations. 5. Modern technology now allows for a range of learning environments This includes virtual and online, which allows much more flexibility in terms of options to learn and upgrade skills. Consider doing some online searches to see what programs and certificates may align. Many online training opportunities have a lot of flexibility in terms of scheduling and allowing extended time windows for course completion. 6. Meet with a career counsellor at a local college or university. This may help provide you with a range of creative options: For example, obtaining a specialized certificate or upgrading in a particular area may be enough to open other career doors, without having to start from scratch. Remember that career shifts are common and it is never too late to make a change if done so thoughtfully. Editor’s Note: This post was originally published as part of a Globe and Mail “Ask the Psychologist” column authored by Dr. Samra, and has been edited and updated. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth  We spend a significant portion of our days working, so relationships with our colleagues can be important to maintain for our overall mental health. Conflict with colleagues, as well as actual or perceived unfairness in the workplace, particularly when it pertains to important outcomes such as a promotion, can have a tremendous impact on job satisfaction. It is normal to feel disappointed, frustrated, and perhaps even angry.
What happens when we experience co-worker related stress? As human beings, we tend to enter a state of cognitive constriction (or tunnel vision) when faced with a stressful situation – particularly when it has to do with another person. We tend to paint the entire situation or object of our discontent with broad strokes. This manifests as us being much more likely to only focus on the negative attributes of situations – leading to a snowball-effect over time, where our emotions become more and more negative and difficult to manage over time. How to deal with unfair treatment What are some ways you can manage a situation where you feel you’ve been unfairly treated by another at work?
How do you approach this colleague if there are still negative feelings toward them?
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published as part of a Globe and Mail “Ask the Psychologist” column authored by Dr. Samra, and has been edited and updated. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
At 29, I’m what you’d call “on-paper” successful. I’m in advertising, and I’ve jumped companies more than I count, because I’m always seeking a better pay, better title. Is there anything wrong with that? I just got a promotion, but I’ve already applied at another competing agency. My friends say this is an indication of some deep level of unhappiness – what do you think? The answer: Let me ask you a simple question: do you feel happy in your life right now? The fact that you are driven and wanting to move up in your career at such a young age is not necessarily any indication of any deep-rooted level of unhappiness. Generation Y’ers such as yourself switch jobs more often than any of the generations preceding them. A big part of this is attributable to the nature of work, which has changed tremendously over the past several decades. With technological changes and the associated virtual absence of geographic limits or boundaries, job jumping is much easier due to so many options and possibilities for work than ever before. That said, your friends (and you) are both questioning whether there is anything wrong with what you are doing, so there may be more behind this than meets the eye. You say you are “on-paper” successful. How would you rate your level of success in other parts of your life, such as friendships, intimate relationships, health/fitness, personal development, religion/spirituality? Does your focus on work interfere with your ability to be able to be focused on and have other important parts of your life fulfilled? Think about what your motivations are for being so driven to seek out numerous promotions and job changes. Do you find you are easily bored if you are at one place too long? Do you feel drawn to the excitement and frenzy of moving up quickly and then going on to the next job? Is it a way to distract from other parts of your life that are important to you, but that perhaps are harder to fix? If you feel happy in your life, enjoy your career, and find that you are able to still have time to build other elements of your life that you value and that are important to you, you are in a great position. If you find that your career focus is interfering with other elements of your life that you value and that are important to you, you may need to revisit and revise the way you have been approaching your career and life. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth
The question: I told a friend about a job I was applying for. The opportunity excited her, and she asked if she could apply too. I said okay, but I’m really ticked now and feel like I can’t trust her. Can our friendship be salvaged? The answer: Let me get this straight: You tell your friend about the job that you want; she directly approaches you and asks for your permission to apply; you say yes, but now you don’t trust her? I am confused! I’m unclear how or why this has created a trust issue – trust is broken when one deceives, misleads or betrays us. Unless I’m missing something, none of these instances apply to this situation. It sounds as though you are more upset with yourself than anything else, and that your frustration with the decisions you made (to tell your friend about the job, to say yes she could apply) is being projected on her. Ask yourself honestly whether the issue relates to anything your friend has done or said. I suspect the decision you are most upset about is, in the spur of the moment, replying “okay” when she asked about applying as well. Ask yourself why you said “okay” when you more likely meant to say “no,” so that you don’t do it again if you are ever in another similar situation. Are you a people-pleaser who easily succumbs to others’ requests? Do you hate disappointing your friends? Do you find it uncomfortable when someone is upset with you? Once you identify what the factors are, you will know how to move forward in an effective manner. Now, whether or not you can salvage your friendship – yes, of course you can. The best policy is honesty – you don’t want to move forward in your friendship with the elephant still in the room. Be proactive, short and to the point. Tell your friend there’s something that is bugging you, and take responsibility for your contribution. You could say something like: “I have to just put something out there about the job we both applied for. I know when you asked me about applying, I said ‘yes,’ but I realized after that I was actually super excited about the job and really wanted it. So I said ‘yes’ when I didn’t really mean it. That’s my fault, and I really respect that you asked if it was okay if you could apply. Anyway, I don’t want the job to get in the way of our friendship and I want to move on. I just wanted to let you know where I was at.” Then, do move on. For all of us, hindsight is always 20/20. Pay attention to the lessons you have learned about yourself. And above all, don’t let a job get in the way of a friendship that you value. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I’m finally back at work after taking most of the summer off – I took relaxing very literally. But now reality is setting in at the office and I’m completely unmotivated to do real work. How can I get myself back on track after such a long break? The answer: Ahh the joys of summer – sun, relaxation and reduced workload. My first reaction is envy. I want to know what you do for a living as I want that job that gives me the summer off! For all of us, getting back into the flow of regular life and work responsibilities after any extended break can be tough. As humans we are innately hedonistic and naturally gravitate toward things that feel pleasurable, enjoyable, and evoke a positive emotional state. We are also master acclimatizers. We physiologically and behaviourally adjust to whatever environment we are placed in. This is true for both relaxing situations or intense work situations. The changes can be subtle and happen without any conscious awareness. They are multi-factorial, impacting our general mood state and our levels of energy, attention and focus. And they often occur gradually. I find it can take me a few days into a vacation (or longer if I’ve been in a very intense work situation) to subjectively start to feel “zenned out”. I end up sleeping way more than is usual (or needed), maybe even napping. I definitely don’t feel as sharp mentally as I do when I’m in work mode. Depending on the length of your holiday, it may take from a few days to a few weeks to make the full transition out of vacation mode. Your lack of motivation is likely much more attributable to the lower energy level and reduced focus you had during your vacation than it is to anything else. I’m going to make the assumption that you are not independently wealthy and work out of necessity, choice, or both. It can be easy (especially on the heels of an extended vacation) to get stuck in the trap of ruminating on the reasons you have to work. Not only does this type of thinking do nothing to change the situation, but it breeds negative emotions. Shifting your focus to the choice elements can help you feel more engaged, more quickly. Remind yourself why you are doing the work that you do. Putting pen to paper can be useful. Ask yourself, why did you choose the job you are in? What do you love most about it? How does it contribute to your sense of meaning and purpose? How does your job allow you to achieve your personal and financial goals? And, perhaps most importantly, where and when is the next vacation your job is going to allow you to take? If you find the feeling of low motivation persists, it may be a sign that you need to think seriously about whether the job or career you are in is a good fit for you and is truly making you happy. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I manage a team of about 10. One member of the team likes to dominate the conversation during meetings to the point that I can’t hear what others have to say. I suspect this person is insecure in some way. Do you have any tips on how I can get them to quiet down but not discourage them in the process? The answer: Being a manager or a leader can be a challenging role in the best of times. Concurrently managing team/group dynamics can be even more difficult, particularly when there is an individual who demonstrates behaviour that is disruptive to the rest of the team. It is important to identify and curb this behaviour early on, to avoid having other members of the team get frustrated, discouraged or disengaged. Although it may be tempting to wait to see if this person’s behaviour naturally changes over time, chances are it won’t – and it is important for you to have the conversation sooner rather than later. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation with this team member:
Also, it is important to always keep some notes documenting any performance meeting. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. By Dr. Joti Samra, CEO & Founder of the Psychological Health & Safety (PH&S) Clinic and MyWorkplaceHealth The question:
I have been a career woman for over two decades, but I’ve recently been fired (I deserved it, and the industry knows it – no one will hire me now.) I’ve had thoughts of picking up and moving across the world – I’ve got no roots in Canada – but is that just a flighty response? Should I start over at 39? The answer: You are engaging in very black-and-white, catastrophic mindset – a normal way to a view a situation when emotions are high – but I wonder how realistic and accurate your thoughts that “the industry knows it” and “no one will hire me now” are. Ask yourself a few questions: What is the evidence that these thoughts are true? What would I say to a friend in the same situation? Thoughtfully answering these questions may help you to arrive at more balanced, accurate thoughts. That said, losing one’s job falls at the top of the list of stressful life events. You are likely experiencing a range of intense emotions, including worry/anxiety, confusion, sadness, or even anger. Your reaction may be amplified by feelings of guilt (our ability to accept difficult situations is even more challenging when we feel – accurately or not – that our actions contributed directly to the situation). Furthermore, working in a smaller or specialized industry area may worsen the impact if you feel that the news of the firing has spread. My very first suggestion is avoid making any rash decision until you’ve had some time to allow the intensity of your reactions settle. Emotionally-driven decisions often tens to be impulsive. Intense emotions also naturally lead us to experience an intense stress reaction – also known as the “flight, fight or freeze” response. This refers to the three ways we respond when under an acute stressor: by fighting back (retaliating, aggressing), by flight (fleeing, avoiding), or by freezing (becoming immobilized). Your urge to pick up and move across the world sounds like a knee-jerk response to avoid your current situation. This may, right now, feel like the only viable solution. Avoidance actually works as a short-term strategy: it removes us from our present distressing situation and can temporarily reduce any fear/anxiety. This isn’t a long-term strategy, however, as it does not tackle the issues that contributed to the situation to begin with. I don’t mean to suggest that moving away is necessarily the wrong solution. What I am suggesting is that you want to ensure that you are mindful that any decision you do make is approached in a thoughtful, informed manner and not driven by avoidance. I would suggest giving yourself a few weeks to allow the intensity of the situation to go down. Speak to a trusted colleague in the industry may help provide some perspective. Then brainstorm all the possible options you have (in addition to leaving the country) and generate the pros and cons of each before making any decision. Excerpted from Dr. Joti Samra’s “Ask the Psychologist” weekly column in The Globe and Mail. |
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